Thursday, October 29, 2009

Help! It's bugging my mind!

I have been having sleepless nites lately. Plus headache and stress, bcoz I feel like I haven't done much whilst it's already the year is coming to the end in 2mths time.

Now that I am occupied with a book I'm planning to publish by early next year. At least that'd make me feel a bit productive.

With the urge of the Uni to be an RU (Research Uni), I now feel the pressure is more. Semua la kau nak jadi. World class la, RU la, paling tamak...nak jadi Innovative Entrepreneur Research Uni (IERU). Gila kuasa betul...

*sigh*

Well, I am scheduled to start my PhD by 2011. But recently, it was announced that scholarships for local postgrad study is plenty. If I apply, I'd easily get it.


The thing is...

I decided to come back to Msia after my Masters (despite getting a PhD project then) bcoz

1. I wanted to get married first
-Yes, I was so 'itchy'. Hahaha. Dah sampai seru la katakan...

2. I wished to bring MrHubby & my kid(s) to enjoy the life I had abroad
-I don't want to be 'syok sendiri' enjoying what I could have all by myself. I wanna share it with my loved ones.

3. I was inspired by some PhD candidates who could juggle motherhood, study, etc.
-K.Anis was one of those who opened up my mind to this.

4. I was thinking to get some experience first and that PhD thingy would be a getaway
-After a few years at work, definitely one needs fresh air to breathe. I was wrong here somehow. People here seem not to respect young lecturers as much as they do to PhD holders. Well, Malays kan? Need I say more?

5. If I came back much later, God knows who'd be my boss

-DrWan is the best boss one could own. He helped me going thru all sort of things from my undergrad days, and we share a lot of stories.


But now... I am left with a limited option.

Will I get a scholarship for going abroad?

Or would my dreams shatter? :(

10 comments:

  1. kinda agree with u, kat sini nak kena ada phd baru student nak respect.. students nowadays kan..

    ReplyDelete
  2. lady of leisure,
    ini bukan kes students yg respect. tapi org2 admin especially. ngalahkan lecturer pulak lagaknya.haihhh nyesal x sambung terus pun ada.

    ReplyDelete
  3. aku doain dapet dan dimudahkan smua nya ya.. btw itu cake mo dibikin gimana is?? cake apa? bikin sketch nya biar aku gampang dekor nya..

    ReplyDelete
  4. erk..byk lak nak kena pk tu ek..gud lak isabelle...semoga dipermudahkan

    ReplyDelete
  5. Just follow your heart, bebehh ...

    I wish you all the best!!!!!!

    :)

    P/s - Dina and Daus dah selamat terpacak depan TV setiap hari time maghrib utk tengok hero fav mereka yg tidak lain dan tidak bukan adalah ultraman gaia ... kehkehkeh

    ReplyDelete
  6. mamapasha,
    aminnn...
    re cake nya, nanti deh kita mikirin. kalo kamu ada cadangan, bilang ya?

    farah,
    tu la.never tot it'd be this hard. aminnn...

    DNNA,
    thanks, babe.
    btw, i pun mmg time ultraman tu la i nak buat keje skit, sbb adam x kaco. tapi i takut esok2 budak2 xreti menghormati waktu maghrib je sbb diorg ingat leh tgk kartun masa maghrib.

    ReplyDelete
  7. In my case, i punya supervisor dok jampi "sambung laa sambung laa"

    Respect la u, ada semangat nak belajar..

    okeh i feel down pulak...

    *sob*

    ReplyDelete
  8. i wrote this on my comment in my blog following ur comment, but just in case u never got back to reading it, i hope u don't mind if i copy n paste it here:

    ttg scholarship tu mmg it's a really game of luck. susah nak budget bila masuk quota utk overseas, and bile quota habis, etc.

    in my humble opinion, just prepare everything as if u r going anyway, despite all the rumours and no matter how slim the chances seem. coz that way, when quota baru dah masuk (in our uni dulu it's every new year masuk quota baru), you've already got your unconditional offer letter in your hands, sat all the necessary tests (IELTS, BTN etc), all paperwork and supporting documents dah isi, tinggal submit je. that's what i did. whilst pregnant ngan aisyah lg masa tu. mmg it didn't seem likely dah i was gonna fly masa tu, tp buat je la.

    oo, and to help boost your chances of 'flying', i guess it is best to check with pendaftar if they've got any favourites / blacklist any unis. like at my uni where i work, ada certain criteria that they favor, e.g. ranking uni, bground bakal supervisor, berapa byk penerbitan SV kita, tajuk proposal (tgk how critical our research is) etc2. and ada jg uni yg di balcklist, sbb dah terlalu ramai malaysians kat sana, or if satu faculty dah ada 2, 3 staff nya di uni tersebut. maybe at ur work place pon sama?

    satu lg, apply byk2 negara, e.g. UK, Aussie, NZ, Japan, Germany, etc, coz kdg quota utk certain negara dah abes, but utk negara lain ada lg. and kalo baik2 ngan clerk / pegawai cuti belajar, bole riki2 tempat mana yg ada quota lg.. if u know this earlier on, dah dpt advantage tu berbanding candidate lain! ;)

    I'm sure u r already familiar with the 'politics' of applying belajar luar neg ni, having done ur Master kat Aus dulu2. sorry kalo annoying plak my comment ni. anyway, kita usaha, then berdoa, kemudian tggal berserah sahaja pd Allah. All the best Is, you deserve it!

    ReplyDelete
  9. jiji,
    dont u feel down.
    let's do it together!!! tengok tu oyis dah bagi semangat.

    oyis,
    thanks a lot for the soothing comfort and detail explanation. it should help.thanks...mmmmuahhh.

    ReplyDelete
  10. All the best Isabelle...

    I know how u feel...

    ReplyDelete

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