Demanding kids

DrWan told me his Affiq has asked him for I-dont-remember-how-many times...to get him a DSLR.
Gila wei... aku yang dah hidup 18tahun ni pun tak beli lagi kamera mahal tu!

When I was small, I didn't even dare to ask Abah to buy me a new pair of school uniform (sampai baju yang aku pakai masa Hari Penyampaian Hadiah tu sangat obvious sentengnya!)
Okay...yang tu maybe masa kecik sangat.

Affiq is 14. At that age, I...errr... (*rekindling*)....
To make a call to Kulim (from BM) to a friend pun, tak berani. Masa tu, the Telekom directory showed the rate of 40cents per 3mins kot (kalo tak silap la).

I have agreed with MrHubby that we'd never shower our kid(s) with luxury.
Bukan dengki sebab kitorang kecik2 dulu tak dimanjakan dengan barang2/toys/pakaian mahal...but I believe in the phrase (quoted from Disney's Mulan) "the flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."

Yesterday, I surrendered when Lil Adam wanted an ice cream. Eskrem biasa xnak, nak drumstick gak... (x agak-agak!).


Here are some tips for taming the demanding kids

Step 1. Get to the Bottom of It
Ask- why is he/she so demanding? Is it bcoz he/she is used to getting his way, or could there be other factors?
Prolly he needs attention? Or do u practice favoritism? Does he know how to say it courteously?
Eleh...Lil Adam mengada jer kekadang tu. I dah ajar pun, asyik la dengan taktik lembik lutut dia tu kalo nak protes. Hampess!!

Step 2. State Your New Attitude Expectation
Tell him/her that the pushy, self-centered, "I want it and I want it now" behavior will no longer be tolerated. It's okay to want something, but he/she must ask respectfully (not with a demanding voice).
If he/she refuses...just ignore until he asks nicely.
p/s: once u do this, NEVER BACK DOWN!
Kadang-kadang, yours truly pun dah malas dengar Lil Adam melalak, bagi jugak. Hmm..should be firmer after this.

Step 3. Demand A Courteous Voice
Some kids just don't know how to state their needs any other way. They believe that loud, whining will help them get what they want.
Show him/her examples and make him/her repeat it to you. Selagi x puas hati, keep on saying "Excuse me." or "Try again, please."
Well, Lil Adam knows that his "Sowi, Mama" and "Ailefiu, Mama" always work.

Step 4. Teach the Difference Between Needs and Wants
A need is a necessity and a want is not essential.
Answer only demands that are asked in a respectful, polite tone and only ones that are true needs.
Yet to implement this one.

Step 5. Don't Be Afraid to Say No
Set a limit that he'll understand that not all his desires will be met. His expectations would be lower
Tell him no matter how demanding, annoying, and obnoxious his behavior, he'll and KEEP YOUR WORDS! If u let him win, he'll know the tricks.

Step 6. Boost Empathy and Sensitivity
Demanding kids only consider their own agenda. SO, they must be taught to consider other person's feelings and needs.
Try this...

• Switch roles. So ask your kid to imagine being the other kid. "Pretend you were him/her. If he keeps on doing that...would u go to his/her house again to play together?"
  
• Imagine the other person. -"Did you notice Ayah was resting? Do you think he appreciated you interrupting him right then?"
  

Last nite, I forced Lil Adam to sleep in the cot. Tak larat share dah la... dia tido buas sekarang nih! So, tonite I should do it again. Duh!