Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Will that have to wait?

Cikebum is 21 months now and I am
actually now in a huge dilemma. I am still indecisive whether or not to try to conceive very soon. Well, pregnancy is no laughing matter, so we'll have to look at it from a wider perspective.

Actually, in the first place, MrHubby & I agreed to just let it be, but after seeing Cikebum's bizarre grumpiness last Sunday, it made me think twice, thrice and even more.

Can u please help me to make a decision? Lemme tell u...

Why I want it now?

I plan to stop breastfeeding as Cikebum turns two this Sept. Thus, there is a point that I should consider an addition to the family. Why now? Why not at a later time?

  • I don't want to create a big gap between Cikebum and his brother/sister. Hence, conceiving now is just the right time, that they could be as close as I was with Acik when we were small (jadi penari bayang2..hahaha!)

  • I am scheduled to do my PhD in 2011. If I were to wait for another year, I'm afraid the baby would be too small that I will have to attend to him/her most of the time (that will affect my focus on study). Honestly, I hardly been away from the lil' ones since his birth and breastfeeding has kept me so close together. If I were to wait much much later...ohhh! I think it is not advisable to juggle pregnancy and study at the same time, especially when u r in a foreign land. Let's not overestimate my capability!

Then, why do I worry?

I myself have my outré eccentrics too. I'm not good at anger management, hence Cikebum's outlandish attitudes could result in an Incredible-Hulk-lookalike Isabelle.

MrHubby just reminded me of my devilish wrath (during my confinement) just bcoz I discovered the kitchen floor was a bit greasy. Yes, just because... Creepy, eh?

This time, things might get worse as MIL won't be around to lend a helping hand anymore (she'll be occupied with FIL's haemodialysis). What more if Cikebum throws his tantrums again? Will I be able to handle it if the lil' ones cries for attention at the same time?

* * * * *

Mmm... I know, there is never such thing like 'the right time'. Having babies is a rollercoaster ride - it's fun and could also be freaky at times. Being a real worrier, I have always wanted things perfect as I can get really down about life not being the way I wanted it to be.

Perhaps, I should flip a coin and say, if it's the head...lets get pregnant. Vice versa ???


  1. hi Isabelle..my Aliah 20mo.last 8th June and well, can say we want to get her adik but yes, i did across the similar dilemma as yours mostly on breastfeeding and anger management..

    having a new 'sleeping partner', some more at the b**t make us very tired..

    but only Allah knows what best for us.No need to worry so much! take care...

    * anyway, how old r u? :D i think u still got a few years before entering 30

  2. thanks, salzahari...for the soothing advice.

    yes, that extra sleeping partner is hard to be separated from the bed :P

    how old am i? heee...i only got months prior to what u said. hahaha.

  3. Isabelle... sometime yesss we rhink it is so complicated but Allah will help you in such a way He planned...

  4. klo mo hamil sekarang ambil satu nanny is.. jadi ada yg bantuin perhatiin adam selagi dikau konsen ama sang bayi... that would help alot... tp jgn smuanya nanny yg ngurus yaa.. kasian jg kan adam nya ntar minta perhatian mama banget.. jadi gantian gitu maksudnya...

  5. hi isabelle.
    we always try to plan to make it perfect. but in life nothing is perfect. Allah is the Great Planner. You seem to be someone who likes to do things in order which is good but sometimes we do not get what we want at the time we want it. For example, myself, I have 4 kids ( 14,10, 5, 2 yrs). You look at the gap. I did not plan that. I've been waiting and waiting and suddenly it's positive on the pregnancy test. I even had a miscarriage once. You see, we can only plan. so dont worry yourself too much. My 3rd son stop breastfed when i got pregnant. he said it doesnt taste nice anymore.. else i don't know how to stop him..:-)

  6. adoii cam same lak ngan yan.. tengah terpk2 pasal nak menambah.. igt nak wat entry... tp nanti2la kot..

  7. Salam isabelle. Tak sangka kita on the "same boat" ye. Intan pon dok nak tambah "new edition" maybe towards end of this year, insya'Allah klu ada rezeki. Time tu arissa pon dah 1 year plus so rasa ok kot.

    Ur hubby pon lebih kurang like my hubby dok remind me about my "anger management" problem...he he biasalah org pompuan nie, byk sikit "angin pasang"...hu hu.

  8. salam Isabelle,

    i dlu pun duk pikir cmtue..snggup tahan tuk preggie sbb pikir nk fly oversea..but then, i've made my decision..buat PhD kt msia jer.. so, leh pikir psl nk branak lg ker..tp Allah punye kuasa..bile i btul2 dh ready nk pregnant, rezeki blum smpi lg..fyi, Eiymann skg dh 2 thn 2 bln++..mmg dh layak sgt dpt ADIKs kan..

    i ade consult ngn doc..doc ckp sbb i still fully-BF..so, susah skit nk conceive.. doc. suh i stop BF..tp, i x snggup. rs cam nk nanges jer bile tgk Eiymann stiap kali dia nenen i..doc ade bg i folic acid + clomid..fr the time being, i x stop BF lg..i x taw cmne nk stop..i percaya pd rezeki Allah..Allah Maha Mengetahui ape yg terbaik utk kite, rite..

    ape2 pun..b'serah pd Allah..klu ade rezeki psti ia dtg..cume cpt ngn lmbt jer..klu dh ditakdirkn u preggie dlm ms t'dkt nie, mrancang lar mcm mane pun msti conceive gaks.. tp klu dh ditakdirkn u x akn preggie buat ms nie..usaha lar byk mane pun pasti x conceive gaks..

  9. setuju ngan ibuEiymann... juz let it be...n pray the best for u n ur family...

  10. salam... hi puan is, jangan risau... saya cadangkan puan is tambah la baby cepat2. anak puan is kan comel2... buat ape tunggu lagi lama2 sian adam nak adik... huhuhuh... percayalah pada kuasaNya, kita merancang tapi tuhan yang tentukan... kalo puan is dapat baby lagi bertambah meriah la umah puan is... hihihi.. nak2 dapat girl...

  11. Salam kenal..

    Nak kata camne ye? Bab ni macam sensitif jugak. Ada orang nak cepat, ada orang berdilema antara nak/tidak. Key dia.. balik kepada apa yang disarankan Rasulullah saw. Itu lebih baik kan...

    As for my personal case, gap between the 1st and 2nd is 18 months (I conceived the 2nd when Mastura is 9 mos). Gap between the 2nd and the 3rd is 24 mos.

    Dengan kelahiran few kids, kadar kemarahan saya makin berkurangan. Malah rezeki juga bertambah dengan baiknya, alhamdulillah.

    yes, i agree with u. but i dont like holding on to this stupid feeling. it makes me feel bad :(

    tapi bu..aku x senang kalo ada stranger di rumah. costly x ya kalo employ helper?
    atau...biar kamu aja jadi helper ku...terus, pasha bisa bersosial sama adam.hahaha.

    what a relieve to know that it is possible for the kid to find the taste not-nice-anymore when the time comes. hope the miracle happens to me too.

    buat le entry. leh kita dgr pendapat kwn2 lagi.

    actually, WE must change kan? tapi alahai susahnya. hangin satu badan, terus lupa semua yg elok2. pastu, regret. hahaha.teruk betul...

    beratnya hati nak stop bf kan? let's just hope what haida hussin said is possible on us too.

    penat semak2 kepala, it's best to just go with the flow.

    if i managed to ctrl my anger, i wouldnt mind, dear.

    wahhh..bestnye! seems like with age comes wisdom ehh? hehehe

    thanks, mates...for the opinions & soothing advices!

  13. gak sopan lu!!! pecah ada rumah g tuanak bedua gebuk2an mulu hadooohhh.. pusing..

  14. eh lupa mo bilang.. emang nya mau capek2 ngurus dua anak sendiri?? gpp lah privacy dikdlm kamar aja berdua2an.. diluar kamar yaahh.. kompromi dikit lah ama orang lain.. lain cerita klo bapaknya adam emang mau repot diajak gantian ngurusin anak.. qeqeqe... udah kamar bawah tuh jadi kamar nanny... dgn pendapatan kalian berdua kurasa bisa laah.. hihihihi.. *racun mode on..

  15. financial planning harus lebih bagus, mbah.ntar baru bisa hire helper. tapi, belum tentu helpernya baik lho.

    mmm... pasti costly ya kalo employ kamu jadi helper. qualificationnya udah BSKom. hehehe.

  16. Isabelle,

    rezeki nak anak ni dari Allah...
    bab nak kawal marah ni.. Insya Allah, boleh diatasi.. semua mula dari dlm diri kita kan...
    kakyong dah anak 3 ni, slowdown dah bab2 naik hangin ni.. lebih lagi bila tgk muka anak2 yg tulus mulus ni.. tak jadi nak marah, Istigfar byk2...

  17. em.. my 2 cents la kan, isn't better to have the little one delivered sblm start phd? at least you'd save the nine months of puke-fest, fatigueness (pregnancy syndrom - mmg i confirm x leh wat keja la kan kalo tgh mabuk2 etc), away for 2 months maternity leave (lg interrupt study), and raising a newborn DURING ur PhD abroad? tu x termasuk lg kalo kes2 ur pregnancy is high risk ke (kot2 la ada kes like placenta previa ke, high blood pressure ke, dah kena bedrest for the entire pregnancy, how to study kan?)

    at least kalo dah ada before u start, masa pregnant n berpantang x kacao masa study. (ni from my expereinece la).

    either way, it's going to be very challenging. but that's what makes life more interesting, right :)

    apa pon kan, i guess we just have to rememebr, 'we plan, Allah plans, and He is the best planner...' so kdg benda2 camni tricky gak nak plan dgn terperinci. but if you're trying, here's some baby dust for u! ****** :) all da best!

  18. salam

    interesting post,ni 1st time comment. i ader tulis satu post pasal nak tambah baby ni kt my blog.. feel feel to read : The cost of having a children - My estimation.



Thanks for reading!
Feel free to leave comments here.

Nuffnang ads

My Heartbeat