Last week, I was visited by one of my ex-students while at work. She handed me a wedding invitation and amongst all, we talked about her preparation (in & out) before the big day.
Alaa... aku pun baru nak masuk 4tahun kawin. But whatever I can advise her, I did. The do's and dont's i the married life. Kalo bukan yang diri sendiri experienced, I told her examples of others whom I know. Friends, family, bloggers...etc.
She's only 22, but I believe she's matured enough, but being a 'sister' (woh! xnak ngaku tua) at least I should share some tips too.
Speaking of married life, MrHubby once told me -biasanya pada tahun ketiga, akan ada ujian dalam rumahtangga. Masa dia bagitau tu, we were about to enter the third year kalo x silap. Ujian yang dimaksudkan adalah dari macam-macam jenis. Orang ketiga ke, masalah family ke, kewangan ke, pasangan x sefahaman ke, campur tangan ahli keluarga... Anything.
I believe it does happen. Ujian-ujian macam tu memang ada, tapi aku tak pernah observe pulak mulai tahun keberapa.
Anyway, I told my ex-student to have everything communicated. We can't live with the assumptions that our other half can read our minds. So, cakap la...dan bawak berbincang.
MrHubby's approach pulak-is more on patience.
Baru ni dia dapat tau his friend yang kawin much later than us, dah bercerai sejak tahun lepas rupanya. Terkejut jugak kitorang dengar. Ye la, usia perkahwinan masih muda... dan kita ingat masa bercinta sakan dulu, dah kenal hati budi serba sedikit. Rupanya banyak lagi yang kita tak tau.
Apapun punca keretakan tu (sekarang kitorang dah tau la, sebab dia dah citer kat MrHubby), it really is a reminder to us.
To my dear sis- Jiji & Naj... who are tying the knot very soon- I wish u all the best!
Alaa... aku pun baru nak masuk 4tahun kawin. But whatever I can advise her, I did. The do's and dont's i the married life. Kalo bukan yang diri sendiri experienced, I told her examples of others whom I know. Friends, family, bloggers...etc.
She's only 22, but I believe she's matured enough, but being a 'sister' (woh! xnak ngaku tua) at least I should share some tips too.
Speaking of married life, MrHubby once told me -biasanya pada tahun ketiga, akan ada ujian dalam rumahtangga. Masa dia bagitau tu, we were about to enter the third year kalo x silap. Ujian yang dimaksudkan adalah dari macam-macam jenis. Orang ketiga ke, masalah family ke, kewangan ke, pasangan x sefahaman ke, campur tangan ahli keluarga... Anything.
I believe it does happen. Ujian-ujian macam tu memang ada, tapi aku tak pernah observe pulak mulai tahun keberapa.
Anyway, I told my ex-student to have everything communicated. We can't live with the assumptions that our other half can read our minds. So, cakap la...dan bawak berbincang.
MrHubby's approach pulak-is more on patience.
Baru ni dia dapat tau his friend yang kawin much later than us, dah bercerai sejak tahun lepas rupanya. Terkejut jugak kitorang dengar. Ye la, usia perkahwinan masih muda... dan kita ingat masa bercinta sakan dulu, dah kenal hati budi serba sedikit. Rupanya banyak lagi yang kita tak tau.
Apapun punca keretakan tu (sekarang kitorang dah tau la, sebab dia dah citer kat MrHubby), it really is a reminder to us.
To my dear sis- Jiji & Naj... who are tying the knot very soon- I wish u all the best!
org kata every odd years...3,5,7,9! emm..yes..i believed in that too. The 'best' tips i can give :-
ReplyDelete1) Always communicate-in polite ways
(easy to accept and digest for both side)--> Respect each other
2) Always 'talk' to Allah when u fails to talk to your spouse/in laws.
3) Always practice patience and accept that he's also not perfect.
salzahari,
ReplyDeletesetuju!!!
entah. pada i, masing2 kena tahu tanggungjawab masing2. problems arise bila masing2 buat hal and lupa kewajipan and tugas. memanglah zaman ni fight for gender equality bagai tapi kita sebagai isteri mesti tahu & respect suami as ketua keluarga, while suami patut jangan bersikap ego, pentingkan diri sendiri and faham how difficult & tiring tugas seorang isteri. kalau dua2 ada understanding macam ni, apa jugak cabaran yang mendatang tu dikira macam lumrah kehidupan. nothing to it.
ReplyDelete.:: Errkkk!!! Agak merisaukan... Hope kami dapat harungi dengan tenang & sabar... Aminnnn... Next year will be our 3rd anniversary... Hhhhmmm... ::.
ReplyDeletemy own fren ada yg divorce lepas 2 tahun kawen.
ReplyDeletethe true knot dalam hidup kita yg kna jaga is friendship & marriage. kalo family by default, sampai kiamat mak kita tetap mak kita, ayah kita tetap ayah kita, adik kita tetap adik kita. tapi kawan, mungkin bole jadi musuh. husband/wife mungkin boleh jadi ex-.
betul ke?erk..i taktau pun..this year nak masuk 3rd year..but i think true la..i kena carefull la...
ReplyDeletetoughcookie,
ReplyDeleteyes, thats very true.
mondoks,
xpe, buat peringatan je tu.
mommylyna,
hmm..betul gak tu.
peringatan untuk semua.... tq beb igt kan i pasal ni heheh
ReplyDeletelin,
ReplyDeletexkira la tahu keberapa pun... elok kita beringat.
elyn,
no worries, mate.
owh.. thanks a lot, kak is.. saya terhutang budi..
ReplyDeletei really appreciate whatever u told me and will always keep it in mind.
hope to see u on my big day very soon!
saya doakan kebahagiaan kak is and family berpanjangan lebih2 lagi dgn kehadiran baby ke-2 x lama lagi.
Love u, dearest sis!
-rajiahnasir (jiji)-
huuu..takotnye nk kwen..hurm tak pernah plak dengar klu odd year problem akn timbul..
ReplyDeletetgk perangai psgn jugak kot..one of my relatives, dh 19 thn kawin, hubby dia buat hal ada affairs dgn few pompuan lain (hubby dia jenis miang)..so now dia tgh pikir nak bercerai ke tak...sbb dh lama giller kawin kan...tp hubby dia ckp memang dh tak ada hati ie tak syg/cinta kat wife dia...so mcm mana tu..
ReplyDeletei tak pernah dengar tapi kalau boleh mintak simpang... i nak hidup bahagia smp akhir hayat...
ReplyDeletehmm penah dgr jgk..every odd yrs..i penah gak kena uji thn 2008..haah laaaa..that time br masuk 3rd yr kawen..ciss hahahah mmg betul, ujian tu mcm2 ujian..bukan takat org ke3, in laws pun included..
ReplyDeletenasib la thn ke5 xde lak ujian :P
takut kadang-kadang bila dengar cerita orang kan. ye lah, 2 orang yang berbeza nak hidup bersama, memang akan ada banyak konflik. Kita sama-sama kena cuba capai persefahaman la kan.
ReplyDeletetak perasan plak pasal ujian @ odd year tu.. turun naik dlm hbgn suami isteri ni biasa,, cuma jgn overdo & jgn sampai lupa tgjwb & rasa hormat..
ReplyDeletescary jugak bila dengor mcm senang2 je nak berai-berai ni...