Thursday, September 4, 2014

Do you have ******? (18SX)


Dah lama tak cerita lawak pasal anak-anak. This one's a pretty recent one.


Lil Adam's school distributed a piece of paper containing information pasal sexual harrassment (or such). Amongst ayat-ayat yang ada atas kertas tu adalah parents disuruh menggunakan terms yang tepat untuk private parts.

Okay, well. I admit, I am not using the terms right.
Aku pernah buat lawak pasal isu ni long long ago (Read HERE)

Bagi aku, it's just a secret code, supaya anak aku tak jerit kuat-kuat masa kat public
Contohnya:

"Mama! NAK T*T*K!!!!" <--masa bf="" dulu="" la="" masih="" nbsp="" p="">
 "Eeee! Ayah KENTUT!!!" <-- bagi="" contoh="" haha.="" lain="" orang="" p="" tetiba="">
"Mama!!! Adam nak KENCING/ BERAK!" <--- br="" bunyinya="" gross="" sangat="">



Haaa.. bayangkan la kalau depan orang ramai, tetiba anak sebut macam tu kuat-kuat. Confirm kemaluan membesar malu besar.

So, untuk cover sikit the obscenity, aku guna terms yang 'comel' sikit.
Contohnya:

B(._l_.)b = Bonbon

Kencing = Shee-shee

Anu lelaki = Bird

Aku bagi contoh sikit je dah la.
Kalau aku list down semua, esok-esok korang dengar aku cakap dengan anak-anak aku, kantoi pulak sebab korang dah faham 'secret codes' kitorang. Muehehe

Back to the school's request. Masa on the way (dalam kereta) pegi jalan-jalan, aku pun check la dengan Lil Adam... whether he knows the names of all the private parts.

Me: What is the 'bird'?
Adam: Penis!

Me: F*****? (our terms for the female private part)
Adam: Vagina!
Me: Okay, good.

Me: What about bon-bon?
Adam: Errr.... UDDERS ?!?! *sengih*
Me: *dah terbarai gelak* Are you saying I have udders? Hahaha. What, you think I'm a cow???


Jenuh kitorang gelak dalam kereta time tu.
Haihhh la anak.


**************************

Lebih kurang macam setepek kena kat muka aku masa bangun sahur Ramadhan aritu.
Aku tengah senduk nasi, tetiba tumpah sikit, So I let our a grunt.

Dengan naive nya, Lil Adam kata... "Haven't you done this for ages?"

Amekkaw! Kehkehkeh.
Nasib baik aku tau bukan niat dia nak tiaw aku. Tapi kan... Zaman kita kecik-kecik dulu, mana la berani outspoken macam tu. Ye tak?


 ************************** 

Kelmarin pulak, aku nak suruh Lil Adam buat kerja apa ntah.

Adam: You're a grown up. You should know how to do it.
Me: But I don't know how to do it. (saja buat mengada)
Adam: No, you do.
Me: How do you know that I know?
Adam: Because you're a mom. A mom knows everything
Me: Heh *smugface*

Yeaaah...
That's the rule.
Just because aku pernah cakap dengan dia "See, I'm a mother. That's why I know."

Lepas ni aku rasa ada chance aku kena makan ayat aku sendiri.
Hewhewhew


3 comments:

  1. Intelligent boy...admire the way both of you communicate

    ReplyDelete
  2. I guess now we give more chances to our kids to express their opinion compared to our time. They are now more advanced than us too. hehe

    ReplyDelete
  3. hah tu la..bdk skrg mcm2..pandai menjawab..kdg2lurus...referring my previous post kat FB...haishh...terkesima i jadinyaa

    ReplyDelete

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