Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Cikgu sekolah ajar rude word?!?


As usual, balik kerja, aku akan pusing ambik Lil Adib from kindy. Bergurau-gurau. 
Lil Adib memang kalau ditanya, dia tak cerita. Soalan biasa aku- what did you eat at school? blablabla.
Sebab benda tu jugak yang aku cerita masa on the way berjalan balik dengan Tok dari tadika dulu.


selfie in the car-on the way to school



Then detour untuk jemput Lil Adam. He hopped into the car, and sat on the co-driver seat.
Biasanya dia akan tanya "How was your day, Mama?" 
Dan soalan tipikal aku...Do you have any homework? What do you wanna have for dinner?"

Tak macam Lil Adib, Adam ni-- sekali dia cerita, jenuh nak kena suruh senyap jap. Hahaha.

"Mama, today we learned about aurat."

"Ooo..that's good. Do you wanna share with me what is the aurat for boys"

"Hmm.. it's the belly button and the knees"

Aku dapat idea nak usik dia.. "What?!!! You mean, when u solat, u just have to cover those two, but not the parts in between?"

"Hahahaha. I mean from the belly button to the knees. I know you know it"

Lepas beberapa minit diam...tetiba dia kata
"It must be very hard to be a girl. I won't be able to cover my aurat if I were a girl"

Dan aku pun mula ceramah free. "You see. That's why it's easy for girls or women to go to hell, as easy as it is to go to heaven--when they give birth, pot-pet-pot-pet-potpet...."

...to which aku cuma dengar dia reply "Oooo...." 

"Just now, Abang E*** (the male teacher) didn't know how to say (._I_.)"

Aku rasa, maksud dia...he tried to avoid using the word 'breasts' lah kan.

Lil Adam sambung cerita... "So I suggested. ..Bon-bon!"

Hahahaha. Lawak pulak aku rasa.
That's our code word for boobies, masa anak-anak kecik dulu. Just bcoz aku tak nak anak-anak cakap kat public "Nak t*t*k!!!" or  "Mama, nak n*nen"--which is a common term for it. Hence the bon-bon. 

So, did everyone laugh?--aku tanya.

"A bit, but Abang E*** said, okay..let's use that word."

"You see... it's good to have code word, isn't it?"



Conversation interrupted kejap... sebab aku dengar lagu best kat Kool FM. Jadi aku pun join melalak penuh perasaan.
Lepas ni, sapa-sapa ternampak aku tengah semangat menyanyi dalam keta, sila buat-buat tak nampak ye.

Habis lagu....masa lalu roundabout....

"Mama.. today at school Abang E*** said the S word"

Terkejut aku. "Hah!!!! What?! What S word?"
Panic, tapi tetap kena focus on the traffic.

"You know, that rude word."

"You mean S.H.I.T?" ---aku terpaksa eja supaya Lil Adib tak pick up the word.

"No. It's the other one."

"So which S word?"

"S.E.X" --Lil Adam spelt it out, half whispering. Again, supaya Lil Adib yang dok kat belakang tak dengar.

Aku cuak. "Hoh?! Why would he say that?"
Kepala aku mula berfikir laju. Sel-sel otak mula berhubung, umpama Ahmad Maselan makan coklat minda. Takkan dia cerita pasal sex pulak.
Ahhh...  Takkan derjah 3 dah belajar Sex Ed?!


Lil Adam sambung.. "No, it's during the class. You know, when men and women.........."

Ahhhh...sudah. Takkan cikgu dia advanced sangat, tetiba nak ajar pasal aurat time beromen sex?! Aku mula fikir pasal well-you-know lah kan...

Dalam aku tak boleh focus sebab banyak kereta kat jalan, Lil Adam sambung lagi... "Abang E*** said, if people are of different sex, like men and women.... the aurat is....blablabla......"


...........
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"Ooooohhhh... ajnabi. Mahram."
*facepalm*

Fuhhh... berpeluh aku!

Betul lah sex, memang dia kena guna terms 'sex' pun. Bukan gender. 

Cepat sangat propa mama nye pun!
Kehkehkeh.

 ************************************

Gambar ni aku ambik dua malam lepas, masa gi klinik. 
Time tu aku eavesdropped dah terdengar Lil Adam bacakan pamphlet tu kat adik dia...
Lil Adib mengikut je word-by-word.



Sampai part bulatan tu ada dengar dia sebut "This is S.E.X. You cannot say this word, adik. It's a rude word."


:-P
Hahaha. Lawak... lawak.....


1 comment:

  1. comelnyaaa haha tapi kalau i pun dah gelabah. T_T

    ReplyDelete

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